Dear Santa,
This year I've been as good as gold.
I managed to survive several months of confinement with my children and my husband, a global pandemic, the cancellation of my holidays and all social life in general.
I survived working from home, Zoom, Teams and Google Meet, connection and WiFi issues. I remained patient when people asked me for the hundredth time "do you see me there?"
I survived the mask, the phrase "it's not covid friendly", the fog on my glasses, the people who kindly remind us (the famous one) that we don't have the right to complain because "it's okay, there's worse".
I washed my hands 10 times a day and survived the attacks of hydroalcoholic gel.
I also survived 22 spilled glasses of water, 3 car vomits, 4 failed banana cakes, 12 weeks of CP program to follow, 182 searches for a comfort blanket, 200 Kapla and 800 Lego to put away, 100,000 "Mommy I'm hungry, Mommy I'm thirsty, Mommy where are you, Mommy look, Mommy I don't know what to do, Mommy what time is daddy coming home, Mommy - Mommy - Mommy - Maaaaaaaan!"
I remained calm and showed a certain sense of repartee to answer my children: "Why are there rainbows? Are we at risk of flying away if there is a lot of wind? Why is the sea blue? Do earwigs really pierce ears? Why do we yawn? Why is The Laughing Cow? Do people on TV see us? How is the baby going to come out of the lady's belly? What's in the testicle? Why is it dark at night? Why do you have white hair? Is tomorrow a long time away? Where does my poop go after that?"
So dear Santa Claus, you will understand that after having supervised my children's Christmas list, I also made mine... Here are some gifts that would be very useful to me:
- Hours of sleep
- A new perineum (and new breasts)
- Calm down (or be more patient)
- A nice, cheap and not too pretty babysitter
- Always clean hair
- An oven that never fails to cook
- A dishwasher that fills and empties itself (+ vacuum cleaner and washing machine)
- 5 kilos less
- The Gift of Ubiquity (or 3 more hours per day - your choice)
- A winning lottery ticket
- One-way ticket to Bora Bora, Fiji or Bali (your choice)
- A spa at home
- Good health for the whole family
- A Freedom Pass for 2021
- The opening of restaurants
- And because I survived the Mickey Club in Avoriaz every winter and in all weathers when I was little, the opening of the ski resorts otherwise we will have to go to Zermatt or Gstaad and we will be outside the law ;)
Little Santa Claus, don't be surprised to find only the superfluous here, I already have the essentials ♥️ For the rest, this year as a precautionary principle, you can avoid the chimney (but also avoid Amazon) and when you come down from the sky, don't forget your certificate!
ps: For other moms, don't worry, it will be pretty much the same as mine, and if they have babies, don't hesitate to slip in a little Studio Romeo gift to make their life easier ;)